You Know Your Symptoms the Best!
October 4, 2013 at 5:56 pm | Posted in 2013, Abilify, Abilify Maintena, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bipolar, Borderline Personality, BPD, Brain, Bulimia, Compulsive Eating, Compulsive Exercising, DBT, Depression, Eating Disorders, EDNOS, Education, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Happy, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, Lithium, long-acting injectables, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, negative symptoms, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, self-care, Self-Harm, Self-Injury, stigma, Stress, Support System, symptoms, treatment, Zoloft, Zyprexa | Leave a commentRecently I made a medication change (with the help of my psychiatrist), and as you might know from your own interactions with meds sometimes it can cause issues to develop. I was happily strolling along for a couple of months with a few bad days here and there, and then I started to notice the bad days piling up more often. I was really irritable, sad, became unmotivated, and suicide starting sounding better. I became alarmed, because I knew something was going wrong, but how was I supposed to explain to my psychiatrist that “irritable” is a symptom for me?
The problem with mental illness is that even when we fit into a diagnosed category of disorder, we all have our own unique symptoms that we need to pay attention to. I have schizophrenia, but for years I didn’t appear “sick enough” to most doctors, because they expected me to be talking to the walls and completely disheveled. There were times when I was talking to the walls and completely disheveled, but the doctors rarely saw me during those times, so they figured I wasn’t that bad off. Because I could communicate relatively well most doctors dismissed schizophrenia as a diagnosis.
Over the years I have come to realize what my symptoms are (for the most part), and now that I am doing better I can advocate for myself more effectively. However, it still isn’t easy to call up my psychiatrist and say “wow, I’m extremely irritable, this isn’t normal for me, and I need to increase my meds.” Most psychiatrists won’t believe that “irritable” is in any way related to schizophrenia, but for me (and many others) it is. I don’t become psychotic over night, and I don’t believe that I should have to be talking to walls in order to get the help I need. I also don’t believe that people should have to try to kill themselves before mental health professionals take people seriously.
Unfortunately, a lot of mental health professionals won’t take a person seriously unless they are debilitated to the point of needing to be hospitalized. So, as people living with mental illness or people who love people with mental illness, we have to be very proactive about getting the help we need before it turns into a crisis. Think about the good days and what you are like on those days, and compare them to the bad days. What are YOUR symptoms? How do things manifest in your day to day life? You might want to write down what you know your symptoms to be, and take that list with you when you talk to your doctor. It isn’t easy or fun, but we have to advocate for ourselves even when we are not doing our best.
In the end, you know your symptoms the best. Remember that you aren’t “crazy” for wanting to feel better and you aren’t making up excuses. Be pragmatic and straightforward, and get the help you need.
Mental Health Update: Monday, May 28, 2012
May 28, 2012 at 1:18 am | Posted in 2012, Abilify, Acceptance, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Autobiography, Bipap, Body Image, Body Narrative, Brain, Buspar, Depression, Diary Rant, EDNOS, Fat, Fat Acceptance, Fat Hatred, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Happy, Health, Injections, insanity, Kristin Bell, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Sleep, Sleep Disorders, stigma, Weight, Zoloft | Leave a commentI thought I’d do a little mental health update, since it has been quite some time since I’ve blogged about my overall mental health. As some of you dear readers may know, I have schizophrenia. I first had issues with it when I was about 15. My first hospitalization was when I was 16. Towards the end of 2000 I got mostly stabilized with my Haldol injections and Zoloft. I haven’t been in the hospital since then! Yay! Quite a long run I’ve had and I hope it continues! For quite some time I had problems getting things done, being motivated and feeling down…that sort of thing, even though I was mostly fine. I think it was last year that I started taking Abilify and it has made a HUGE difference! I’m still taking Zoloft, Buspar, Haldol and some non-psychiatric meds in addition to the Abilify, but the addition of the Abilify was great. I’m doing really pretty well these days. Sometimes I have anxiety, although I think it might generally be related to performance issues with school. I also tried taking Topamax to help with weight loss, but I thought it might be making me stupid and giving me more anxiety, so I quit taking it. I think overall, the Topamax was not helping. It seemed like I was becoming less motivated and more sad with it. I also had that bad anxiety day that I wrote about recently.
So, I think I was just hoping for a magic weightloss bullet with the Topamax. It didn’t work. Boo. I have lost about 90-100 pounds though which is good, but I still need to be less sedentary. I’m also a believer in fat acceptance, but of course it is hard to say that I never want to try to lose weight. I would be an even bigger believer in fat acceptance if I wasn’t actually fat I think!!! hahaha. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it is kind of true. I can accept the hell out of everyone’s fatness, but my own! lol.
Anyway, enough about fatness for now. What I want to say is that I’m doing well on the whole. My sleep patterns have improved with my sleep apnea machine, and while I’m not sleeping on any kind of normal schedule yet, I’m getting sleep every day and mostly at the same time! I still tend to be somewhat paranoid, but I’ve found that opening up with people over the years on the internet has really helped me to realize that I don’t need to be afraid of everyone in the world. I still have some delusional thoughts that blow through my brain now and then, but I consider them to be more of a slight annoyance than a big deal right now. But seriously, it is because of the medicine. If I wasn’t taking my meds, and doing so faithfully, I would be in and out of hospitals and massively psychotic. Some people don’t believe me, because I “seem so normal,” but I have to wonder what THAT means anyway? And, I don’t know, it seems like I should be insulted when people say that to me, but I’m not sure why I find it so insulting! I don’t necessarily want to be abnormal, even though I pretty much am, but I think it just bothers me that people attach a kind of value judgement to the term “normal” as if “normal” is superior. It is definitely easier to live in the world if you are “normal,” but it isn’t the only way to be in the world, that’s for sure. Normal is just such a peculiar word, no?
So, I’m doing fine. Some anxiety here and there, some weird thoughts here and there…a depressed mood now and then, but mostly just good. Which is nice. Thank you meds and thank you lucky stars! So, that’s my update after living with schizophrenia for 24 years. Wow! 24 years! Man am I getting old!!! LOL.
Suicide
December 9, 2008 at 3:42 am | Posted in Acceptance, Alcoholics, Anti-depressants, Anxiety, Ativan, Bipolar, Counselor, Cry, Dead, Depression, Fat Hatred, GBLT, Kristin Bell, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Panic Attacks, Psych Meds, Psychiatry, Schizophrenia, Self-Injury, Suicide, Support System, Surviving, Xanex, Zoloft | 1 CommentI’m just going to say it: GOD DAMN DEPRESSION!!! It is so horrible that words cannot describe it, right? You know what I am saying. And, at this moment, I have no idea how many people out there are thinking about or attempting suicide. It is the great loss, the tragic loss…every suicide. I’ve tried wrapping my head around it. Tried thinking of it as someone’s way out of pain, but the truth is, each attempt, every moment spent toiling over it: TRAGIC.
I know that it feels like the only way to relieve the pain. Looking back on my own suicidal ideation and attempts, I can only wonder: WHAT WAS I THINKING!?! Okay, I know what I was thinking…tired. tired of being tired. tired of having this huge pain that I couldn’t really describe, this unending sorrow swallowing me whole. Tired of being a failure, and broke, and stupid, ugly, horrible, disgusting, friendless, and every other bad thing I could think to call myself. But, I don’t know, mostly I didn’t even care if I lived or died. These few pills will take away the pain? Okay, I’ll be dead and it won’t matter anymore. My big dillema was getting rid of my body without horrifying other people. Continue Reading Suicide…
Schizophrenia Research I’m Participating In
December 2, 2007 at 6:32 pm | Posted in Acceptance, Amblify, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Family, Fun, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Kristin Bell, Lunatic, Measurements, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, NIMH, Prescription Meds, Problems, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychosis, Research, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Support System, Surviving, Therapist, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 4 CommentsYou might be asked to participate in an eye tracking exercise like the one shown above. All of the equipment is just used to keep your head still and to track your eyes.
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I just wanted to let you all know about this schizophrenia research study I am most likely going to be participating in and I hope that if any of you out there are interested, you will join in on the study! Well, as you might know, I got a new job at schizophrenia.com. Well, one day I was visiting the site and an ad popped up looking for research participants for this schizophrenia research study! Here is the link: http://www.schizophreniaresearch.net/Involved.asp
Unfortunately, at this time it isn’t an Continue Reading Schizophrenia Research I’m Participating In…
People With Schizophrenia More Logical?
November 22, 2007 at 7:19 am | Posted in Anti-psychotics, Haldol, Kristin Bell, Logic, Lunatic, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Prescription Meds, Problems, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychosis, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Trazadone, Trilifon, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 1 CommentAre people with schizophrenia infact more logical than “normal” people? That is what one research study seems to indicate. Not a lot Continue Reading People With Schizophrenia More Logical?…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #11
November 18, 2007 at 8:45 am | Posted in Alcohol, Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Buspar, Depakote, Depression, Drama, Family, Friends, Haldol DEC, Health, Holidays, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Lunatic, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Panic Attacks, Paxil, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychosis, Relaxation, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Sleep Disorders, Support System, Surviving, Tips & Tricks, Wellbutrin, Xanex, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 1 CommentWhew! It has been awhile since I have written a tip/trick. The last few months have been crazy, but not really in a good way. Oh well. The tip I’m writing about today has to do with this special time of year for people. This may be rather specific to people who are in the US and/or to people who celebrate certain holidays. Anyway, in the US most people have some holiday that they celebrate or they go on vacation or just have some time off. The major holidays are Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Kwanza, Christmas, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Again, I know there are more holidays that I’m sure I’m missing, but these are the big ones. So, here is my tip: Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #11…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #10
October 17, 2007 at 6:38 am | Posted in Acceptance, Amblify, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Ativan, benadryl, Bipolar, Body, Buspar, Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder, Depakote, Depression, Effexor, Geodon, Haldol, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Maintenance, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, melatonin, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Panic Attacks, Paxil, Pot, Prescription Meds, Problems, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychosis, Relaxation, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Sleep, Sleep Disorders, Surviving, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Xanex, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 1 Comment<Sleeping graphic from HowStuffWorks.com>
I don’t know why I didn’t think of this tip before. Probably because I haven’t mastered this and should really follow my own advice about it. Plus my dad likes to harp on me about my problem with this a lot…which just irritates me. On with tip 10. Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #10…
Common Fallacies of Psychiatry Deniers
September 20, 2007 at 8:53 pm | Posted in Acceptance, Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Buspar, Denial, Depakote, Depression, drugs, Education, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Health, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Lunatic, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Paxil, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Scientology, Seroquel, Shame, Support System, Surviving, Trazadone, Trilifon, Video, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 12 CommentsThe following videos are by Rob aka deidzoeb, a person from YouTube. His wife, Melinda, aka melsbasketcase, is also a YouTuber and Melinda has schizophrenia. She does well when she is properly medicated, but a lot of people go on her channel and try to convince her that her drugs are poison and that she should stop taking them. I hope you will watch all three of Rob’s great videos about Psychiatry Denial. He does a great job of showing how psychiatry deniers are simply wrong and how they try to take choice away from people with serious mental illnesses. I have included all three videos here. Please click to find them. Continue Reading Common Fallacies of Psychiatry Deniers…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #9
September 5, 2007 at 1:20 am | Posted in Acceptance, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Books, Depression, Eating Disorders, Education, Haldol, Health, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Lunatic, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Prescription Meds, Problems, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychosis, Reading, Schizophrenia, Scientology, Surviving, Therapist, Tips & Tricks, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 1 CommentWell, I think I have covered most of the basics regarding mental illness, or at least the ideas I had right off the top of my head. But, I haven’t covered this next topic yet, so here we go with number nine: Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #9…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #7
August 17, 2007 at 2:09 am | Posted in Acceptance, Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Buspar, Counselor, Denial, Depakote, Depression, Discrimination, drugs, Effexor, Geodon, Haldol, Health, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Lunatic, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Navane, Paxil, Prescription Meds, Problems, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychosis, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Scientology, Seroquel, Surviving, Thrive, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 9 CommentsI don’t know if I am just stating the obvious with all of these Tips & Tricks, but sometimes it is the most obvious things that we forget when illness hits. This next tip is something that I have personally struggled with for years and sometimes a glimmer of it still pops up every now and then. Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #7…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #3
July 26, 2007 at 7:37 pm | Posted in Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Buspar, Depakote, Depression, Effexor, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, Life, Lithium, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Navane, Obsessions, Paxil, Problems, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychosis, Relaxation, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Stress, Surviving, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 1 CommentOh, just so you know, these tips aren’t in any particular order, except I did mean to put the first one first. Other than that they are sort of random. On with tip number three: Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #3…
Tips and Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #2
July 26, 2007 at 5:58 am | Posted in Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Buspar, Depakote, Depression, Effexor, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, Lithium, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Navane, Paxil, Problems, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychosis, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Surviving, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 3 CommentsOkay, I know these tips and tricks might not be the most popular tips and tricks with everyone, but they are MY tips and tricks and how I have survived having a mental illness so far. Things could change at any minute. On with number two. Continue Reading Tips and Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #2…
Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #1
July 25, 2007 at 1:24 am | Posted in Amblify, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Bipolar, Buspar, Depakote, Depression, Effexor, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, Lithium, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, Navane, Paxil, Problems, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychosis, Risperdal, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Shame, Surviving, Tips & Tricks, Trazadone, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | 9 CommentsWell, I think I know a thing or two about having a mental illness, since I’ve been dealing with this damn stuff since I was 15-years-old. So, why not share a few tips and tricks I’ve learned along the way? I guess I’ll just put up these when I have time. Here is the number one thing I’ve learned: Continue Reading Tips And Tricks For Surviving A Mental Illness #1…
The Haldol Injections
July 23, 2007 at 1:26 am | Posted in Bipolar, Buspar, Depression, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Injections, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psych Meds, Psychiatry, Psychosis, Schizophrenia, Zoloft | 14 CommentsI wanted to talk a little bit about the Haldol injections that I get. I have schizophrenia and part of the medications that I receive are Haldol injections. The long name is Haldol Decanoate or Haldol DEC for short. Continue Reading The Haldol Injections…
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