Be You

June 17, 2017 at 1:15 am | Posted in 2017, Depression, disability, employment, female, feminist, human, illustration, job, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Schizophrenia | Leave a comment

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When I was a teenager I remember cringing when people would say I was so nice. I mean, I appreciated the compliment somewhat, but at the same time I always wanted someone to say I was smart and beautiful. Not nice. Nice was banal. Nice was stupid. One classmate even said once “oh, I didn’t know you were smart. You are so nice.” What was I supposed to say to something like that? I remember one year my best friend got me a shirt that said “heart of gold brain of spam.” Hahahaha. So funny. I laughed. I never understood why being nice meant that you had to be stupid and ugly.

When I went to college the first year I was also under the impression that being smart meant you were nerdy looking. You couldn’t be “femme” as the kids say these days. Girls couldn’t be both smart and girly. Basically, in order to be considered smart we all know you need to be as much of a man as possible. But then I went to a women’s college full of smart women who were also stylish, beautiful, and girly. They changed my mind. Women could look however they wanted to look and be smart. They didn’t have to fit into a box of computer-nerd chic in order to be smart—they could if they wanted to, but they didn’t have to.

Why am I telling you this? Because I got fired today. And because I’ve been fired from so many jobs I lost count. Because it sends me into a spiral of hating myself for being who I am and what I do. I think of all the times I’m not good enough. How I didn’t do the thing right, whatever the “thing” might be. How I’m superfluous and not valuable to society. How I’ll never be what I think I should have been. How I’m incapable of the simplest things sometimes.

But I had to stop myself from that spiral and remember the wise words from my teacher this term. He said you have to be you. You can’t pretend to be something you aren’t, because you will always end up being you anyway. That made sense to me. So, I looked at the image I drew of my teacher and reminded myself that in good times and bad I have to be me. I know that I made some mistakes with my job, but I also realized that part of the problem was that they didn’t want me, they wanted someone else. They wanted the girl who used to do the job, not me. They wanted me to come in and be her, and I couldn’t, because I’m not her. They wanted me to write like her and have the same story ideas and do the same things, but I couldn’t, so I didn’t, and it got me fired. I knew that they wanted her and not me the first week.

Sometimes the consequences of being ourselves, well, the consequences are less than desirable. When you are someone who exists on the margins of society consequences happen more often than not. Sometimes who we are is in such conflict with what society deems appropriate and valuable that we have to hide the best we can in order to survive, so I don’t begrudge anyone who can’t let their freak flag really fly.

I am the type of person who is pretty much incapable of hiding in order to survive. I try sometimes, but it never works out. So, the bit about being nice? Well, a number of years ago I realized that it wasn’t such a bad thing being nice. I’ve tried purposely being pushy in my life. That never worked. It just doesn’t pan out for me. I thought about it a lot and the people who I like and admire ARE nice, so why should I ever think that was a bad thing? I’m not always nice mind you (obviously), but if I tend to be a nice person in general, I guess it is okay. I like being nice to people. I like it when people are nice to me. People talk about how women shouldn’t have to be nice, and I agree. But what if that is who some of us are at times? I gave up trying to be forceful, pushy, and mean and decided I would work on being the nicest person I could be, because that is a quality I like about others. I don’t want to be fake nice. I just want to be nice in the amount that goes with who I am.

I also gave up trying to be a tomboy—something I never was. I embraced my inner femme and now dress pretty much how I want to. I don’t care if people think I’m a frivolous stupid woman for wearing a bow in my hair all the time. I really don’t care if they think I look ridiculous and dumb and uncool.

Still, the consequences for being me continue to exist and exert their power. Today after I lost my job I was reminded of that. It was me they fired. It hurts, and I struggle to think I still have value in a world that counts your value by the amount of money in your bank account and your ability to hold a job. I think about how I should have just done it differently, but the truth is, I couldn’t. There are reasons why I didn’t do the job like the other woman did it. Those reasons aren’t really important now, but I had them. If my boss had bothered to ask I’m sure I would have shared them.

The truth is sometimes people don’t ask, and reasons don’t matter. We have to live with the consequences of being ourselves. Does it do any good to wonder why I can’t be someone other than who I am? No. We can learn from mistakes, but we can’t un-become ourselves even when we really want to. Those are the hardest days. Those are the days I need to look at the picture I drew of my teacher saying “BE YOU” and remember that being me is the best part of the journey, not the worst. I’m typing this, so I can remember the enthusiasm my teacher spoke with about how “being you” is like an amazing gift to the universe and that we all have a place and purpose. It makes sense. Sometimes I feel it and understand it. On days when I get fired I just have to remind myself enough until I feel better.

Mental Health App I’m Working On

February 9, 2016 at 3:00 am | Posted in 2016, Acceptance, Activism, Anxiety, Art, artists, arts & crafts, awareness, Cat Stories, Cats, Depression, design, drawings, gif, graphic design, hamster, loneliness, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mindfulness, mobile app, modeling, Psychiatry, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis | Leave a comment

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Wrapping Up the Schizophrenia Type Project

October 14, 2015 at 5:05 am | Posted in 2015, Acceptance, Activism, Art, design, graphic design, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, school project, typography | Leave a comment

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Check out my booklet in the link below:

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Smoother Transitions Schizophrenia GIF

October 10, 2015 at 5:19 am | Posted in 2015, Acceptance, Activism, adobe cs6, animated gif, Anti-psychotics, Art, design, gif, graphic design, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia | Leave a comment

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Schizophrenia GIF

October 9, 2015 at 10:09 pm | Posted in 2015, Acceptance, Activism, animated gif, Art, design, gif, graphic design, insanity, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, Schizophrenia | Leave a comment

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Schizophrenia is Not What You Imagine

October 9, 2015 at 1:07 am | Posted in 2015, Acceptance, Activism, design, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, typography | Leave a comment

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Mental Illness Awareness Week

October 6, 2015 at 1:36 am | Posted in Acceptance, Activism, Health, Mental Health, Mental Illness | Leave a comment

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Must Watch Video!

December 10, 2014 at 4:58 am | Posted in Abilify, Abilify Maintena, Acceptance, Activism, Allies, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, awareness, Bipolar, BPD, Brain, Depakote, Depression, Diseases, DSM-5, Effexor, Emergency Room, Families, Family, Geodon, Haldol, Health, Kristin Bell, learning through film, Lithium, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, MAO Inhibitors, medical, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, sickness, stigma, Stories, Suicide, Support System, Surviving, symptoms, TED Talk, treatment, treatment of the mentally ill, Video, Zoloft, Zyprexa | Leave a comment

This is a great presentation/speech. I hope you can watch and share it! It really needs to go viral! Hopefully the correct video will play. It is a TED talk about mental illness and community.

New Brain-Neuron Fabric Gift Wrap Wallpaper!

December 8, 2014 at 7:20 am | Posted in 2014, Anxiety, Art, artist, arts & crafts, astrocytes, axon, axon hillock, Biology, Bipolar, body parts, Brain, Cartoon, cerebellum, clothing, craft, creative, dendrites, Depression, design, design your own fabric, doctor, drawings, fabric, fabric design, Fashion, frontal lobe, gift wrap, golgi apparatus, Health, Holidays, Illustrated, illustrator, Kristin Bell, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, myelin, neuron, neuron impulse, neuroscience, neurotransmitters, oligodendrocyte, Paranoid Schizophrenia, pillow, Pillows, Prefrontal Cortex, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, wrapping paper | Leave a comment

Hey Everybody! I recently made this new brain/neuron fabric and gift wrap! I made a giant brain pillow for my psychiatrist too, and he seemed to like it which was awesome! :) Here are some pics! Also, the fabric, gift wrap, and wall paper are available on spoonflower here: http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/3713721

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Friends with Mental Illness and Those Who Love Us, Please Take This NAMI Survey!

October 31, 2014 at 4:23 am | Posted in Bipolar, Depression, Emergency Room, ER, Mental Health, Mental Illness, NAMI, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, survey, treatment of the mentally ill | Leave a comment

ERMentalHealth

This is a survey by NAMI about experiences with ER mental health services. I believe the survey is for both people with mental illness and friends/family who have experienced the ER mental health situation. Please take the survey to help improve ER mental health treatment. I hope by taking this survey ERs will listen to how to improve things!

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/G5QCPP9

Blog About Mental Illness Disclosure on HealthyPlace.com

November 2, 2013 at 8:39 pm | Posted in 2013, Acceptance, Activism, Anorexia, Bipolar, Blogging, Borderline Personality, Bulimia, crazy, Denial, Depression, Discrimination, discussion, Eating Disorders, Ethics, HealthyPlace.com, Kristin Bell, Lunatic, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Psychiatry, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, stigma | Leave a comment

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Hey Everybody! I just wanted to let you know that I had a blog story published over at HealthyPlace.com. Here is the link: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/yourmentalhealth/2013/10/30/is-not-disclosing-mental-illness-perpetuating-stigma/ . I hope you read the article and can participate in the conversation. I’m really interested to hear what people think! Thanks! :)

Stand Up for Mental Health!

October 27, 2013 at 3:42 pm | Posted in Activism, Mental Health, Mental Illness, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia | Leave a comment

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I am standing up as a person living with schizophrenia. Will you stand up with me?

Find out more at HealthyPlace.com

Let’s Talk About Suicide

October 13, 2013 at 5:14 pm | Posted in 2013, Bipolar, Bullying, Dead, death, Depression, Fat, Gay, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Panic Attacks, Queer, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, self-care, Self-Harm, Self-Injury, Suicide | 2 Comments

Suicide

October 12, 2013 at 9:25 pm | Posted in 2013, Addiction, Alcohol, Alcoholics, Anorexia, Bipolar, Borderline Personality, BPD, Bulimia, Bullying, Compulsive Eating, Compulsive Exercising, Counselor, Dead, death, Depression, Dyke, end of world, Fag, Fat, Fat Hatred, Gay, GBLT, gender, Homo, Homophobia, Homosexual, Hope, insanity, Lesbian, Lithium, Lunatic, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, ocd, Panic Attacks, Pansexual, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Problems, Psych Meds, Psycho, Psychosis, Queer, Schizophrenia, self-care, Self-Harm, Self-Injury, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, Support System, Surviving, Trannie, Trans | Leave a comment

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International Suicide Hotlines  USA Suicide Hotlines

 

 

Mental Illness Awareness Week!

October 10, 2013 at 5:59 pm | Posted in 2013, Activism, awareness, Mental Health, Mental Illness | Leave a comment

Screen shot 2013-10-10 at 5.56.39 PMIt is Mental Illness Awareness Week! I invite you to step outside of your box and talk to people about mental illness whether or not you have a mental illness yourself!

You Know Your Symptoms the Best!

October 4, 2013 at 5:56 pm | Posted in 2013, Abilify, Abilify Maintena, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bipolar, Borderline Personality, BPD, Brain, Bulimia, Compulsive Eating, Compulsive Exercising, DBT, Depression, Eating Disorders, EDNOS, Education, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Happy, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, Lithium, long-acting injectables, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, negative symptoms, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, self-care, Self-Harm, Self-Injury, stigma, Stress, Support System, symptoms, treatment, Zoloft, Zyprexa | Leave a comment

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Recently I made a medication change (with the help of my psychiatrist), and as you might know from your own interactions with meds sometimes it can cause issues to develop. I was happily strolling along for a couple of months with a few bad days here and there, and then I started to notice the bad days piling up more often. I was really irritable, sad, became unmotivated, and suicide starting sounding better. I became alarmed, because I knew something was going wrong, but how was I supposed to explain to my psychiatrist that “irritable” is a symptom for me?

The problem with mental illness is that even when we fit into a diagnosed category of disorder, we all have our own unique symptoms that we need to pay attention to. I have schizophrenia, but for years I didn’t appear “sick enough” to most doctors, because they expected me to be talking to the walls and completely disheveled. There were times when I was talking to the walls and completely disheveled, but the doctors rarely saw me during those times, so they figured I wasn’t that bad off. Because I could communicate relatively well most doctors dismissed schizophrenia as a diagnosis.

Over the years I have come to realize what my symptoms are (for the most part), and now that I am doing better I can advocate for myself more effectively. However, it still isn’t easy to call up my psychiatrist and say “wow, I’m extremely irritable, this isn’t normal for me, and I need to increase my meds.” Most psychiatrists won’t believe that “irritable” is in any way related to schizophrenia, but for me (and many others) it is. I don’t become psychotic over night, and I don’t believe that I should have to be talking to walls in order to get the help I need. I also don’t believe that people should have to try to kill themselves before mental health professionals take people seriously.

Unfortunately, a lot of mental health professionals won’t take a person seriously unless they are debilitated to the point of needing to be hospitalized. So, as people living with mental illness or people who love people with mental illness, we have to be very proactive about getting the help we need before it turns into a crisis. Think about the good days and what you are like on those days, and compare them to the bad days. What are YOUR symptoms? How do things manifest in your day to day life? You might want to write down what you know your symptoms to be, and take that list with you when you talk to your doctor. It isn’t easy or fun, but we have to advocate for ourselves even when we are not doing our best.

In the end, you know your symptoms the best. Remember that you aren’t “crazy” for wanting to feel better and you aren’t making up excuses. Be pragmatic and straightforward, and get the help you need.

Update on Abilify Maintena Use!

July 22, 2013 at 3:52 pm | Posted in 2013, Abilify, Abilify Maintena, Bipolar, crazy, drugs, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, insanity, Kristin Bell, long-acting injectables, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, negative symptoms, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Science, symptoms, treatment, treatment-resistant | Leave a comment

Hello Abilify Maintena!

May 24, 2013 at 9:45 pm | Posted in 2013, Abilify, Abilify Maintena, Anti-psychotics, Chemistry, drugs, extended release, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Health, Injections, Kristin Bell, long-acting injectables, Mental Health, Mental Illness, negative symptoms, neuroscience, neurotransmitters, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, Risperdal, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, stigma, symptoms, Trazadone, treatment, treatment-resistant, Trilifon, Zyprexa | Leave a comment

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Some of you may remember that I have been getting Haldol Decanoate injections for the past 13 years or so in order to keep my schizophrenia in check. I wrote about it here: https://kristinbell.org/2012/06/14/the-haldol-injections-after-10-years/. Recently Abilify Maintena, the long-acting injectable form of Abilify came onto the market. After discussing it with my doctor, we decided to give it a try. I have been taking the oral form of Abilify along with the Haldol Dec injections for about two or three years with no adverse side effects, and it has really improved my functioning as well. The long term risks of side effects like tardive dyskinesia are much higher with the Haldol than with the Abilify which is one reason why we decided to switch. Abilify also has fewer metabolic side effects (things like less weight gain are associated with Abilify). We are taking a giant leap into the great unknown. I got my first injection of the Abilify tonight. It comes in an injection kit with sterile water that must be mixed with the powder Abilify and then injected. The Haldol is an oil-based mixture that is also injected. I am hoping to also have less sedation side effects from the Abilify. I’m just crossing my fingers that all will go well. I will keep you all updated as time passes. It is also interesting to note that Abilify Maintena has been approved for much longer in many other countries, but it just became available in the US. The US also lags behind many European countries in the administration of injectable forms of antipsychotics. Personally, I think that all people with chronic schizophrenia should give injectable antipsychotics a try. The injections don’t hurt and it is much easier to manage than oral medications. I’m including some pics of what my injection kit looks like too. It looks complicated, but it really only took about 4-5 minutes to administer including reading the directions! I’m saying Hello to Abilify Maintena and goodbye to my old friend Haldol Decanoate!

Schizophrenia and Negative Symptoms: Q&A with Dr. Potkin

May 20, 2013 at 7:48 pm | Posted in 2013, Abilify, affective flattening, alogia, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, asociality, avolition, Biology, Bipolar, Brain, Depakote, Depression, dopamine hypothesis, Dr. Steven G. Potkin, drugs, Education, Genentech, Geodon, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Health, insanity, Irvine (UCI), Kristin Bell, Lithium, Mania, Manic, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, N-methyl-D-aspartate, NAMI, negative symptoms, neuron, neuroscience, neurotransmitters, NMDA, NMDA receptor hypofunction hypothesis, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Paxil, Prescription Meds, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, psychoanalysis, Psychology, Psychosis, Risperdal, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Science, Seroquel, stigma, Support System, Surviving, symptoms, synapse, sz, Therapist, Trazadone, treatment, treatment-resistant, Trilifon, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | Leave a comment

negsymp I have some great news! I was able to ask Dr. Steven G. Potkin, Professor of Psychiatry in the Department of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at the University of California, Irvine (UCI) Medical Center, some questions regarding the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. He is also the Robert R. Sprague Endowed Chair in Brain Imaging. It was a brief, by email interview, but I’m happy to share what I’ve learned with you all! The following is the Q&A:

Kristin: What are negative symptoms?
Dr. Potkin: “Negative” does not refer to a person’s attitude, but instead to a lack of characteristics that should be present. Symptoms include reduced amount and content of speech, even when encouraged to interact (alogia), lack of emotional and facial expression (affective flattening), diminished ability to begin and sustain activities (avolition), decreased ability to find pleasure in everyday life (anhedonia) and social withdrawal (asociality). [1] [2]

Negative symptoms can appear a few years before other symptoms appear in young adulthood in the so-called “prodromal” stage of the illness.[3] Unfortunately these symptoms often go undetected because they manifest themselves as issues common among teenagers: social withdrawal, problems with school work, irritability, depression and sleeping problems.[4]

Kristin: Do all people with schizophrenia have negative symptoms?
Dr. Potkin: No, but at any point in time, negative symptoms can affect approximately 50 percent or more of people with schizophrenia.[5] [6]

Kristin: How do negative symptoms affect a person with schizophrenia? How do they affect their family and friends?
Dr. Potkin: Research suggests that for people living with schizophrenia, negative symptoms are key factors in poor quality of life as well as problems with personal hygiene, school and work performance, maintaining relationships, interacting within the community, and participating in social activities. [7] [8] [9] [10]

For caregivers of people with schizophrenia, negative symptoms may cause more burden than do other types of symptoms as they see their loved ones life isolated and lacking in meaning or joy. [11]

Kristin: How are negative symptoms currently treated?
Dr. Potkin: Current treatments for schizophrenia focus on reducing characteristic symptoms and can include both medication and psychosocial interventions.[12] No effective medication treatment has yet been approved for specific treatment of negative symptoms. Despite progress in the medication side of treatment, there are still unmet needs in terms of symptom control. A large study found that despite treatment, approximately 57 percent of people receiving treatment for a schizophrenia spectrum disorder still had at least one negative symptom.[10]

Kristin: What is the research that Genentech is doing regarding negative symptoms?
Dr. Potkin: Researchers at Genentech are pursuing new treatment strategies for schizophrenia, including increasing N-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptor activity in the brain in order to target the mechanism that may be a common link between the positive, negative and cognitive symptoms of the disorder.[7] [9] [11] [12]

Specifically, through a clinical trial program, Genentech is looking at an investigational medication for people with schizophrenia, including people who experience mostly negative symptoms of schizophrenia, despite taking medication. For more information, please visit www.SearchLyteschizophrenia.com

Kristin: How can family and friends of someone with schizophrenia help someone with negative symptoms?
Dr. Potkin: Caregivers can talk to doctors about interventions including medication, psychosocial rehabilitation (work, school, relationships), medical care and wellness, and therapy (e.g. cognitive behavioral therapy and peer support groups), as well as ongoing clinical trials.[13] They can work with physicians to find the medications and non-medicine therapies that are right for their loved one. Different medicines may have different side effects. Caregivers can also consider programs from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) including:

• NAMI Hearts and Minds

– Online, interactive wellness initiative

www.nami.org/heartsandminds

• NAMI Peer-to-Peer

– Free, 9-week educational course on recovery

www.nami.org/peertopeer

• NAMI Connection

– Recovery support group for adults

www.nami.org/connection

Kristin: Do scientists know the biological mechanisms involved in negative symptoms? If so, what are the areas of the brain and/or mechanisms involved in negative symptoms?
Dr. Potkin: In the 1970s, the “dopamine hypothesis” of schizophrenia emerged, suggesting the biological basis of schizophrenia was an excess of signaling by dopamine, a chemical messenger in the brain. This theory, however, could not explain negative or cognitive symptoms.[6] In the late 1980’s a newer theory suggested positive, negative and cognitive symptoms could all be due to reduced function of NMDA receptors in the brain. This theory is now known as the “NMDA receptor hypofunction hypothesis.”[6] [7] [8] [9]

Researchers are pursuing new treatment strategies for schizophrenia, including increasing NMDA receptor function in the brain in order to target the mechanism that may be a common link between the positive, negative and cognitive symptoms of the disorder.[7] [9] [11] [12] It is thought that NMDA receptor activity is an important pathway in psychiatric disorders, especially schizophrenia.

End of article.

*Note: I would like to thank Dr. Potkin for helping me put together this interview. This research is very exciting and I hope that negative symptoms can be tackled in this decade! I know how debilitating they can be!

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1.     Gard DE, Kring AM, Gard MG, Horan WP, Green MF. Anhedonia in schizophrenia: distinctions between anticipatory and consummatory pleasure. Schizophr Res. Jul 2007;93(1-3):253-260.

2.     Strauss GP, Gold JM. A new perspective on anhedonia in schizophrenia. Am J Psychiatry. Apr 2012;169(4):364-373.

3.     Stahl SM. Stahl’s Essential Psychopharacology: Neuroscientific Basis and Practical Applications. 3rd ed. New York: Cambridge University Press; 2008.

4.     National Institute of Mental Health. Schizophrenia. 2009; http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/schizophrenia/complete-index.shtml. Accessed July 7, 2012.

5.     Kirkpatrick B, Fenton WS, Carpenter WT, Jr., Marder SR. The NIMH-MATRICS consensus statement on negative symptoms. Schizophr Bull. Apr 2006;32(2):214-219.

6.     Bobes J, Arango C, Garcia-Garcia M, Rejas J. Prevalence of negative symptoms in outpatients with schizophrenia spectrum disorders treated with antipsychotics in routine clinical practice: findings from the CLAMORS study. J Clin Psychiatry. Mar 2010;71(3):280-286.

7.     Ho BC, Nopoulos P, Flaum M, Arndt S, Andreasen NC. Two-year outcome in first-episode schizophrenia: predictive value of symptoms for quality of life. Am J Psychiatry. Sep 1998;155(9):1196-1201.

8.     Kirkpatrick B, Fenton WS, Carpenter WT, Jr., Marder SR. The NIMH-MATRICS consensus statement on negative symptoms. Schizophr Bull. Apr 2006;32(2):214-219.

9.     Kurtz MM. Symptoms versus neurocognitive skills as correlates of everyday functioning in severe mental illness. Expert Rev Neurother. Jan 2006;6(1):47-56.

10.   Milev P, Ho BC, Arndt S, Andreasen NC. Predictive values of neurocognition and negative symptoms on functional outcome in schizophrenia: a longitudinal first-episode study with 7-year follow-up. Am J Psychiatry. Mar 2005;162(3):495-506.

11.   Provencher HL, Mueser KT. Positive and negative symptom behaviors and caregiver burden in the relatives of persons with schizophrenia. Schizophr Res. Jul 25 1997;26(1):71-80.

12.   National Institute of Mental Health. Schizophrenia. 2009; http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/schizophrenia/complete-index.shtml. Accessed July 7, 2012.

13.   National Institute of Mental Health. Schizophrenia. 2009; http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/schizophrenia/complete-index.shtml. Accessed July 7, 2012.

Unica Zürn, Hans Bellmer Presentation

March 10, 2013 at 8:02 pm | Posted in 2013, Academic, anagrams, analysis, Art, art history, artist, artists, Bipolar, bondage, College, death drive, drawings, female, fetish, Freud, Hans Bellmer, History, Homosexual, Kristin Bell, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, obsession, outsider art, Photography, presentation, psychoanalysis, Psychology, repression, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, school, Surrealism, Surrealist, Unica Zürn, University, Video, YouTube | Leave a comment

Sign the Petition to Increase Funding for Research for Mental Illness

December 29, 2012 at 5:54 pm | Posted in Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Bipolar, congress, cure, democrat, Depression, Health, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, petition, politics, POTUS, President, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychoactive Substances, Psychology, Psychosis, republican, Research, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia | Leave a comment

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Hi! Just wanted to post this to ask people to please sign the petition to the President and Congress to increase funding for research related to finding cures for mental illness. It only takes a minute! Please share with your friends too!

https://www.change.org/petitions/to-the-president-and-congress-fund-research-to-cure-mental-illness

Mental Illness in Light of the Recent Shootings

December 21, 2012 at 4:50 am | Posted in 2012, discussion, gunman, Guns, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, school, shooting, stigma, Video, Violence | 1 Comment

Shootings, Shootings Everywhere!

December 15, 2012 at 5:42 pm | Posted in 2012, Clackamas Town Center, Connecticut, controversial, Crime, crimes, Culture of Violence, Denial, Discrimination, gunman, Guns, insanity, Kristin Bell, Las Vegas, Lunatic, Male, Men, Mental Health, Mental Illness, OR, Oregon, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Portland, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psycho, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, school, shooting, Shopping, Suicide, Support System, Surviving, USA, Violence | Leave a comment

In the United States in the past week we have been shocked and devastated by public shootings. First in Oregon at Clackamas Town Center, then in Connecticut at an elementary school and then in Las Vegas at a hotel. Most people, myself included, are horrified at the violence. Naturally, we now all seem to be debating about how to prevent these senseless acts. Some people latch onto gun control, some people latch onto our violently oriented culture, and some people latch onto mental illness as an issue. I honestly don’t know that there are any answers or actions that society can make as a whole to prevent things like this happening in the future, but this bit of rant is not about answers exactly. What I want to talk about is what is NOT the answer.

What is NOT the answer is scapegoating any one group of people. From my perspective as a person living with mental illness, I am (of course) sensitive to people ranting about how the mentally ill should be locked up or about how all of the shooters must have been mentally ill. Honestly, we don’t know enough about the situations or people to comment. What I have to say time and time again is that statistics bear out the fact that mentally ill people are generally not violent and are, in fact, more likely to be the victims of violent crime than the perpetrators of violent crime. People with mental illness are often more of a threat to themselves than to anyone else. Even if all of the shooters turn out to be mentally ill, that does not mean that all people with mental illness are violent. We can note also that all of the shooters were male, but that doesn’t mean that all men are violent and that all men should be locked away from society or have their rights stripped.

It is distressing to me that so often the conversation will turn into attacks on mentally ill people aka “the crazies” and how to keep them away from “the rest of us.” There are literally millions (or more) people living with mental illness who never harm anyone. If someone is violent AND mentally ill, that does not mean they are violent BECAUSE they are mentally ill. They are violent, because they are violent. We should focus our energies on how to make the world a less violent one with people who are less violent, not perpetuate stereotypes and attack other humans who have done nothing wrong.

BTW: Save Your Pennies and Make Change! :)

October 28, 2012 at 8:50 pm | Posted in Bipolar, Bring Change 2 Mind, Collection, Depression, Kristin Bell, Licoln, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Pennies, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Shame, stigma | Leave a comment

Attach this handy printout to a jar and take it into work and/or keep one on hand at home! Change your mind about mental illness and make change at the same time! :)

 

Bring Change 2 Mind!

October 28, 2012 at 8:16 pm | Posted in 2012, Activism, Allies, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, awareness, Bipolar, Bring Change 2 Mind, Depression, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Mood Stabilizers, neuroscience, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, stigma | Leave a comment

Hi! As you might know if you have scanned my blog, I make it a point to talk about mental health/illness, because I have schizophrenia and I believe in stomping out the stigma of mental illness. Well, I have this cute story to share! I was waiting outside of the classroom for my biology lab class to start this fall and started talking to a supernice girl who was in my class. We got to talking and to try to explain why I had been in school so long I decided to tell her that I have schizophrenia. Lo and behold she says “oh yah, my mom has bipolar and my brother has schizophrenia too!” What a small world!!! It turns out her whole family is active in the mental health field in advocating for the erasure of stigma related to mental illness and they have a website called http://bringchange2mind.org/ . I am always surprised when I talk to people about my own illness and then they also know someone or are someone with mental illness too! It is such a big thing in peoples’ lives and when we talk about it, it is surprising/amazing/wonderful that we aren’t alone in our struggles. So, I just wanted to share this little story and a link to the Bring Change 2 Mind website. It was a wonderful feeling to meet someone else at school who knows first hand about mental illness and to be able to talk openly about it! :) Three cheers for no more stigma!!! :)

Lindsey’s Experience with Schizophrenia

September 1, 2012 at 6:24 pm | Posted in 2012, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Art, artist, Haldol, Health, insanity, Kristin Bell, Lindsey Cormier, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Seroquel, Zyprexa | 2 Comments

 Hey check out Lindsey’s vlog! Great to hear her story! :) She is also an amazing artist! Check out her art at http://www.etsy.com/shop/lindseycormier

Genetic Testing! Yay!

August 24, 2012 at 9:30 pm | Posted in Abilify, Anti-anxiety meds, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, benadryl, Biology, Bipolar, Body, BPD, Buspar, Depakote, Depression, dna, drugs, Effexor, genetic testing, Genetics, Haldol, Haldol DEC, Haldol Decanoate, Kristin Bell, Lithium, Mania, Manic, Manic-Depressive, MAO Inhibitors, Medicine, Mental Health, Mental Illness, metabolic pathways, metabolize, Mood Stabilizers, Navane, neuroscience, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Paxil, plavix, Prescription Meds, Prozac, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychoactive Substances, Psychology, Psychosis, Risperdal, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, Science, Seroquel, Technology, testing, Trazadone, Trilifon, warfarin, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Zyprexa | Leave a comment

http://www.genemedrx.com/

Hey Everybody! I wanted to share with you this cool genetics testing that is available to people. I just got it done, because my nurse practitioner ordered it and Medicare pays for it. (Medicare pays for this testing, because it saves a LOT of money and can save lives!) It is really cool, because it tells you how medications will interact with your specific genetic makeup! It is extremely important if you are taking really any kind of medication. For example, had I known about my results before I took Wellbutrin years ago, it would have saved me from basically having a manic reaction to the medication. It turns out that I metabolize differently than normal on some of the metabolic pathways. This means that I will metabolize the meds on those pathways different than people without this issue. If you have Medicare, I strongly urge you to get this testing done. It could save your life from a bad genetic-medication mistake. I think many other insurance carriers might also pay for it. It also explains why I can take a lower dose of many medications and still get the desired effect from the medication. I would say that anyone who is trying to figure out their psych meds should really get this testing done too. It doesn’t just tell about psych meds though, it tells about stuff involving all other sorts of meds. Seriously, this is pretty awesome! Again, here is the link: http://www.genemedrx.com/

Elyn Saks TED Talk About Her Schizophrenia

August 12, 2012 at 11:49 pm | Posted in Elyn R. Saks, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Psych Meds, Psychiatrist, Psychiatry, Psychiatry Denial, Psychoactive Substances, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, TED Talk, The Center Cannot Hold, Video | 2 Comments

Got My Cure Alliance Schizophrenia Magnet Today! Yay!

August 4, 2012 at 6:41 pm | Posted in Activism, Anti-depressants, Anti-psychotics, Anxiety, Bipolar, Brain, Cure Alliance, Depression, insanity, Kristin Bell, magnet, Mania, Manic-Depressive, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, ocd, Psychiatry, Psychology, Psychosis, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia, sz | Leave a comment

Hi! I’m happy to report I got my Cure Alliance schizophrenia magnet today! Strange that my bumper wouldn’t hold the magnet! haha. Anyway, please check them out at the Cure Alliance Facebook page here. Also, see the related post I made about their campaign here.

50-50-50 Magnet Campaign for Mental Illness

August 1, 2012 at 8:31 pm | Posted in Activism, Bipolar, Depression, Kristin Bell, Mental Health, Mental Illness, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Paranoid Schizophrenia, Psychiatry, schizoaffective disorder, Schizophrenia | 3 Comments

Hey everybody! The Cure Alliance has launched their 50-50-50 campaign to raise awareness about mental illness. It stands for 50 states, 50 magnets in 50 days. They want to get their mental illness magnets in 50 states in 50 days! YOU can participate! The first person from each state to contact them gets their choice of a free magnet for their car! Just email them at this address: info@curealliance.org. Also, you can buy them from their store HERE. I think they are good for other things too, like to stick on lunchboxes or bikes or anything a magnet will stick to!!! Please also like their Facebook page HERE.

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