Okay, well, I’m done feeling blue for now. I think I was probably sleeping too much. So now I’ve been awake for almost 24 hours and I’m feeling pretty good. PLUS I got a boat load of Hello Kitty items in the mail today that I had ordered from Sanrio.com when I was feeling a bit blue. I didn’t even care how much money I spent on Hello Kitty stuff, because I was having Hello Kitty withdrawls!
The major item that I bought was a carrier for my cat Kiki. I will post a picture of it here. Of course it is overpriced, but I just had to have it for my cat. I have another carrier that is plastic, but I don’t like putting him in there. This one is nice and it has a soft pad that you can even take out and wash if you need to. Plus it has three windows and it is made of fabric which I think is nicer than plastic. We’ll see if it will hold up to cat attacks! I think it is really made for small dogs, but my cat will fit, so I’m going to put him in there when I drive to the beach and when he has to go to the vet.
Pretty much everything I bought I don’t need. I bought some plush dolls, a bunch of pens and pencils and notebooks and folders for school plus other stuff. One item I really like is the organizer that I got. Maybe I can actually get organized with all of my Hello Kitty supplies now! haha. I doubt it! I basically wanted stuff for school, but then I kept finding cute stuff here and there and everywhere. That is the problem with Hello Kitty shopping—everything is cute! How do you know what to put back?!?
I’m starting to feel like I might have a shopping addiction of some kind. I get so excited when I buy new stuff. The only bad part is when it comes in the mail and my parents get mad because there are too many deliveries to our house! Yikes! Well, aside from some books for school I’m hopefully done shopping for now. I really need to get my spending under control. I was doing well for a couple of months, then I decided to get some new stuff for fall term at school and I just got carried away! I swear, there are so many cute outfits out there this year! And yeah, I am totally broke too, so all this shopping is really bad for me.
Still, I am really happy with the stuff I bought. I got some new clothes and I’m hoping that having some new outfits will encourage me to actually GET DRESSED and LEAVE THE HOUSE more! Sometimes I just get stuck in the house and stuck in my pajamas and stuck in my bed. I forget there is a world outside of my bedroom! haha. I don’t even know what my problem is. I like going out. I like getting dressed in clothes rather than pajamas. I like going to work and school. I think it must be a case of bad inertia. I like to stay at home. But then I do tend to feel better when I get out and about and do things. I think it must just be the social isolating part of having schizophrenia. I don’t even know why I do it. I just do. Well, I guess part of it is that I’m awake mostly in the middle of the night and there is absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go! There used to be a Starbucks open 24 hours, but I think they scaled back their hours, because the last time I went there they were closed. Besides, that was only a drive-thru. It was only good for a short distraction.
I really wish I could just sleep like a normal person. I’m going to keep trying to make myself sleep like a normal human even though I know on some level that it is futile. I even bought a new Hello Kitty alarm clock in the hopes that it would be loud enough to wake me from my sleeping stupor. Long story, but anyway, I just can’t wake up. I have literally slept through jackhammers churning up cement right outside my room. I didn’t even hear them! I’ve tried Benadryl, Melatonin, light therapy, Ambien, alarms, wake up calls, cold ice…ugh. I don’t want to think about it. I’m just going to keep trying to sleep like a normal human and see what happens.
Anyway, I’m feeling much better today. Hello Kitty does make me happy, but I think just getting up and getting dressed in something other than pajamas may have helped. Thank you all for your well wishes! Have a good day! :)