I don’t know why. I woke up in a bad mood today. Just feeling a little depressed. I know it will go away and I’m glad I know that. Before I would have these mind-numbing times and they never went away AND they were 2,000,000 times worse. Still I don’t like feeling blue. It is no fun. I want to clean my room and clean out my closet of my old clothes and get everything put away, but all I can manage is to lay around in bed trying to think about happy things if I think at all. I feel hungry, but I can’t think of anything good to eat. I’m thirsty, but I don’t want to drink the same old stuff and it would mean getting out of bed. Not that I want to be in bed, I just don’t want to do anything else. I should be working on stuff, but I can’t do it. It is all I can do to just vent here and I’m probably only doing this because my computer is in my bed! heh. I will feel better. I will feel better. I will feel better. I know this. I just took my anti-depressant medications. Maybe that will help. Still, I think about how I’m a failure. I even had a dream about it last night. I also had a dream that my front teeth fell off and behind them were more front teeth! It was totally weird. Well, all of my dreams are weird.
I’ll just lay here for awhile and then I’ll get up and get something to drink to help the pills wash down. Maybe then I’ll read something. I have no patience for TV anymore. The commercials annoy me too much. I’ll be happy again really soon. Maybe by the time I get done posting this. It just has to pass. I know this. It is just bad for a few minutes/hours/etc. Mostly I don’t share these times. No one sees when I’m locked in my room alone staring at the walls. There is nothing to see really. I’m usually happy anyway. Just not at this moment.